I am loneliest than I've ever been

To See

In between a waterfall,
And a valley
There will always be a forest
With an outlying alley

Alongside the remote track
Will always be there
Lilies with hundreds of crack
On their petals, and their leaves are bare

Out in the coldness
They could not see their reflections
While they hold beauty like a duchess
Due to lack of affection

Oh,
The had eyes
But yet their wish
Is to see whatever lies
Between grasses and goodbyes

To see what hold them up
Against the strong push of the winds

To see themselves
Strong against life

c, b. e. w~
December 23th, 2013

World's Sketch From Distinct Black Ink

Grey glass bowl and sparkling words
Under a red moon and star stitches
Things look grim and, sweetheart,
For fear even, they saddened it.

The grey glass bowl
Knows nothing about the red moon
Only sometimes from the sparkling words,
That are noticeable, since they glow
Like strings of the star stitches

The sparkling words
Are religion to the grey glass bowl
The way they blow out weak gleams
They stole from star stitches
And air of wonder from the red moon.

Above, sweetheart,
Those are frictions of things and their stories
Inside of human limits, inside of the burden
Our solar system has

Inside of wrongs and rights,
Limitations, they all are

Shrines Sailing

Meet her. The girl of blue and red. Author of black letters that turned to scarlet. Hashing her own heartstrings on a stiff cabinet. A statue waiting to be led.

Meet him. A series of light leather and frozen flame.  Hair warm as bed, heart cold as bad aim. Waking up tired of shame. Running from troubles he never overcame.

Meet them. Earth walker, jumping silently on mischief and tragedy. Thief of illusions. Holding hands without even meeting each other. Like east and west, up and down, but beaming.

They hold on to their shrines
Through a wall that is time
Keeping them apart
Even when they locked each of their heart

High Lea

It was a narrow evening
Your ivory aunt was carving
a big arrow, and
there was a braid of flimsy dandelion
on each of it's tip


She thought she said,
in a lonely purr of the narrow late evening
some loving words
Instead of impure condemns on her
flabby dignity


Hence, she closed the curtains,
half through the thin glass of the window
So that the remaining of the dying sunlight
wouldn't shine through yours,
and hers troupe
That you have been keeping since Genroku


A gleam of light flicked off
You yawned, the trees followed


If you could remember, the next morning
or so we know,
you led her to a high lea
Where dawn embraces the ground
Where memories kiss the verge of humanly wound


She stood with wildgazing eyes
Astounded
You assured yourself that
she was counting stars
While you know she was counting despairs
and wars


Skyline's beam
Deformed army of radiance drops
From which you gather yours
and hers beliefs
You're almost ready to return


The scent of vanilla latte
smited her low-hanging head
A thing erupted within her fragile, muted cream build
She cracked a smile


As she rose her hand, pink and shaky
the trigger was pulled softly


In the meantime, when her hand melt in wary
around the black metal
She fell in love
with it's coldness
And that estranged her, from even her own universe


It was a narrow dawn
Your gules aunt was wrapped in chiffon
In a lonely purr of the narrow late morning
You blew a dandelion,
on a tip of an arrow
trying to hold on


She is the one who left
But you are the one who got away





~c, b. e. w
October 22th 2013

Darling, you need to die happy.

Alone and Caring

I really don't care if I lose anyone I've cared about in this short space of time.
I don't care if any of you don't like me or hate me or love me dearly
I don't care about life or living
I don't care about being happy, sad, devastated, or annoyed
I don't care that I can't see the truth or witness something or lie everyday
I can't care anymore



But you all know that everything I said is the biggest lie a big liar like me ever said.
Now you want me to say what?

This, This Is Me After You

I don't mind the cold when I have a fire to warm me 

I don't mind the rain 'cause it makes the flowers grow 

I can take the bad times when you wrap your love around me 

I don't mind the thorns when you're the rose 

(Lee Greenwood - I Don't Mind The Thorns If You're The Rose)

Fake greetings, fake smile, fake love. The cold, dark sky of November fade as you turn your back to me. I expect everything to be pitch black, but no. I am stronger than I thought. I welcomed you with heavy smile while you gave me heavy tears on my polo shirt. And the cups of tea I made you is just another excuse to take care of you more than I should. I'm fooling myself saying that you know me, and you actually thinking of me. But I accept it, gladly. My heart bleed, literally, but I shook it off because I don't mind. 

I don't mind if you kill me slowly by breaking it, crushing it.

Cause in this whole wide world, you're my only rose with so many thorns

You're the only one, you know that?

Racing With Fragmented Moments

If I die tonight,

I'd go with no regrets,

If it's in your arms,

I know that I was blessed,

And if your eyes,

are the last thing that I see,

Then I know the beauty heaven holds for me

(Westlife - Moments)

No, I'm not okay. If you made me this scared - scared as hell, why would I lie that much of being okay? Strange how you made me feel peaceful and anxious at the same time, same amount. Peculiar. That's it. I'm done.

But you're not the problem. I am.

Miss Meikle-Small

Ever since I watched Never Let Me Go (2010) back then on July 2011, I was totally captivated by the actors' performance. They all great whether it's their acting or their ability to cast a spell over the viewers to follow their miserable lives. The movie is about time and suffer, if I may tell you. But it delivers the beauty of the book with the same title by Kazuo Ishiguro, a Japanesse best-selling author.

What I should warn you guys is the movie contains some mature scene, and that's why I skipped some part since I'm only 15 at the time. While the story is beautiful, I was more fascinated by the actors' acting. Especially the younger actors. The movie is one of the best movie with child-to-mature characters. 

Gosh, their acting is so valuable. One that got most of my attention is a girl who played Kathy (Carey Mulligan) on her early age, while Kathy, Tommy (Andrew Garfield), and Ruth (Keira Knightley), 'studied' in Hailsham. Later I discovered that her name is Isobel 'Izzy' Meikle-Small. 

She has played in several movies and got some minor roles before NLMG, such as Tchaikovsky: Fortune and Tragedy, a TV movie; and Disco, a very funny short movie. You should check it out.

I don't know, but I really like her character and how she played Kathy. I really hope the movie brought her to fame but eventually it just lasted for a very short space of time, which pissed me off. She's so talented and deserves more vital role. One of her biggest chance is to be Katniss Everdeen's sister, Primrose, in The Hunger Games trilogy but her chance flew as soon as it landed on her palms. I mean, if you look closely, Izzy Meikle-Small and Jennifer Lawrence shares some similarity. They both have blonde hair, for example. I don't get the idea why the role for Prim was gotten by Willow Shields. No offense.

I hope in the future she will get more roles and get recognition. She's only sixteen anyway. Still fresh for a start. And she has about two years younger face than her age. I'm starting to imagine if some books being filmed, what role will fits her perfectly. Yea I'm such a daydreamer.

And I've found one:

• Chloe-Levesque Series: Phoebe Torrence maybe? Okay, she's not fat but it will be a fresh wind if we change a little about one character. And I'm super excited when I imagine Izzy being a teenage detective's half little sister, who was very busy with her play and debate club. Phoebe's character maybe not strong enough compared to Kathy's, but it would be nice to see her talent being commercialized first. 

I'll support her hard :)